If You Send Your Kid to a Failing School, You are a Bad Person

By 09/04/2013

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A manifesto in response to Allison Benedikt:

You are a bad person if you send your children to a failing school (unless you have no choice). Not bad like murderer bad — but bad like sacrificing-your-child’s-future-while-not-actually-doing-anyone-else-any-good bad. So, pretty bad.

I am an education-policy wonk; I’m also judgmental. It seems to me that if every single parent sent every single child to the best possible school available, public schools would improve. This would not happen immediately. It could take generations. Some children might get mediocre educations in the meantime, but it will be worth it, for the eventual common good.

So, how would this work exactly? It’s simple! Everyone needs to put pressure on our public schools in order for them to get better. Not just lip-service pressure, or I-might-pull-my-kid-out pressure, but real flesh-and-blood-offspring pressure. Your local school stinks but you send your child there anyway? Then its badness is just something you object to in the abstract. Your local school stinks and you send your child elsewhere? If enough parents act like you then you are doing everything within your power to make it better.

And parents have a lot of power. In many under-resourced school districts, it’s the mass exodus of parents that has finally forced officials to make necessary changes. Everyone out. (By the way: Banning neighborhood schools isn’t the answer. We need a moral adjustment, not a legislative one.)

There are a lot of reasons why bad people send their kids to failing schools. Yes, some do it out of laziness or out of loyalty to a longstanding family tradition. Others literally have no choice, as they cannot afford private schools and because teachers’ unions have blocked all other routes of escape.

I believe in public education! you might say. I understand. You want the best for your community, but if you can tell your public school is crappy then you’re not doing anybody any good by propping it up with your child’s attendance (and tax dollars). You might believe that yours is the exact kind of family that can help your crappy public school become less crappy. This is naïve. Your child will not learn as much or be as challenged as she could be. Don’t let anyone tell you to “live with that.” Especially if she is gifted. The world needs her to fulfill her whole potential.

I went K–12 to excellent public schools. My high school offered numerous AP classes, and over four years, I read many excellent books. I even played soccer. This is not bragging! I left home well prepared for college, and thanks to that preparation, I left college after learning a lot there too. I’m not saying that my precise educational route is the right one for everyone. But I am grateful that I attended good schools, and want that for everyone.

By the way: My parents didn’t send me to these great schools because they believed in public ed. They couldn’t have afforded private schools very easily, so they chose to live where we lived based on the schools. Take two things from this on your quest to become a better person: 1) Your child will probably do just fine without “the best,” but 2) “the best” you can afford is surely what you should aim for.

Also remember that there’s more to education than what’s taught. As wonderful as my school’s English, history, science, social studies, math, art, music, and language programs were, going to school with poor kids and rich kids, black kids and brown kids, smart kids and not-so-smart ones, kids with superconservative Christian parents and other upper-middle-class Catholics like me was its own education and life preparation. (I went to school in suburban St. Louis in the 1980s, home to the nation’s largest desegregation program, so my school enjoyed a certain amount of racial and socio-economic diversity that other affluent suburban schools did not.)

But remember that there’s more to education than what’s taught. If your local public school doesn’t uphold the values you teach at home, that’s a big problem.

Many of my (morally bankrupt) friends send their children to failing public schools. I asked them to tell me why. Here is the response that most stuck with me: “We wanted to live in the city, and these are the schools that are available to us, and that we can afford. And attending school with poor children will be a special experience for our kids.” I get it: You want to keep enjoying nightlife and a short commute and you think your kids will do fine. You like your school’s diversity, hate the suburbs, and figure you can provide whatever enrichment your son or daughter needs at home. Maybe your involvement will make the school a little better. Maybe your child’s large vocabulary will rub off on his or her peers.

You know who else wants to believe those things? Scores of social scientists, a deluge of do-gooders, but here’s the thing: Whatever you think your children need—deserve—from their school experience, don’t assume that the parents at the nearby public-housing complex want the same. You want something warm-and-fuzzy and uber-progressive? They want something back-to-basics and akin to a Catholic education. You want more art and music and time for exploration and free play? They want a focus on reading and math and extended time for the fundamentals.

If you send your kids to school with their kids, you are likely to use your energy, power, and money fighting to change your school in ways that you prefer but that might actually do less-advantaged children material harm. You might find yourself taking resources away from what they need most — a content-rich curriculum, a strong focus on reading and math, a firm approach to discipline — and hurting their life chances in the process.

Don’t just acknowledge your inner consumer — listen to it. Pick the best fit for your child. Let other parents do the same. Everyone will be the better for it.

-Mike Petrilli

This blog entry first appeared on the Corner.

Comment on this article
  • Jeff Mannlein says:

    This is a healthier response and is what our communities need not the current graceless all about us mentality we are currently promoting. http://www.christianitytoday.com/thisisourcity/7thcity/bloom.html

  • Megan Hallett says:

    I work in low income inner city schools. And the parents here want success for their children.

    It is shocking to me that your article suggests that art education is not only not wanted by low income parents but that focusing on what you deem “warm and fuzzy” elements for “rich progressive parents” risks “material harm” for low income children. Quality art education benefits all children!

    It is even more shocking that the dept. of ed is linking to your article in the same Education Matters newsletter that publishes a report on why arts education is so important for children living in poverty, teaching them much needed critical thinking skills and skills for persistence and civic engagement. Civic engagement skills that may one day serve them well in disrupting the status quo of good schools for the haves and a mixed bag of school for the have nots.

    Your article is not an effective response to Allison Benedikt’s article. She suggests that if well resourced parents really want what is best for their children in the long term that they will start paying attention to helping everyone else’s children in the public schools now by distributing their resources into schools that need them.

    I think she is right and every refutation I have seen of her article completely ignores what she is actually suggesting progressives do- start working for what is best for all children not just what is best for yours. Take all of the energy that is dedicated to what is best for a few and spread it into public schools where it is most needed. You might even provide a service for children and teachers outside of your immediate family and community! That is where the revolution will be.

  • Sharon Neely says:

    Mr. Petrilli,
    This article really got my attention. You’re right you’re very judgmental but you do have a valid point. I went to very poor schools received a poor education and the people around me could care less.
    I tried to make sure my children received a better education and moved to the “better” side if town. Everything on the “better” part of town changes your way of life. We moved in to a house I could barely afford and where not having the best shoes or cloths didn’t seem to make a difference before made a huge difference on the new side of town not only among the children but the parents and teachers. The schools were better but we could not fit the mold.
    My sons both graduated high school when they were twenty-six years old. I believe moving to a new neighborhood can be worst then staying at the school that don’t have all the stars.
    Life goes on and things change and something just continue to be old news.
    I find myself raising a second generation. Of course I want a better school for my granddaughters. My oldest granddaughter has no problems getting into a better school. She’s the all American girl. Good grades, sings in the church choir, and plays sports. Then there’s her little sister. She struggles in all subjects, needs speech therapy, and occupational therapy.
    Guess what she can’t go to the better school. They’re better for children that don’t have special needs.
    I spend time reading articles like yours trying to be part of her education looking for different solutions.
    Yes, You’re right on many levels but the bottom line it’s not that easy and sometimes people don’t know what their children are missing because the parents didn’t get much better.
    Thank you, Sharon Neely

  • DC Parent says:

    I drive an hour each way so that my kids go to a better school in DC. Most of my Ward 5 neighbors do also. We have essentially balkanized the neighborhood and left it for Ward 7 parents seeking better schools than they have. The problem is that writers like yourself put too much weight to changing social circumstances inschools and not enough on fair wages, viable housing, effective social supports like high quality childcare. Most of us in the middle class cannot afford to dither over exposing our kids to poor kids, get paid for it and then move to one of the most expensive suburbs in the country. I know your beat is education, but if you really care then you need to think bigger because many of us are chasing better schools and frankly the rich people west of the park are rising up and pushing us out. This is about class warfare for the middle and poor and we are loosing.

  • lil says:

    I have personally see parents try to come and organize and put pressure on the organization and then the parents who like the status quo or feel marginalized will vote them out. Care to comment on this?\

    In most school systems a mass exodus means the school closes but the system does not change.

    PS saw your article bout how to fix DC schools. How nice of you to believe that DC needs more economic integration. when you live in bathesda which has nothing but rich people.

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